Learn about attraction from psychology of attraction

Learn all about attraction from psychology of attraction

Attraction isn’t only about looks. It’s about a certain primal magnetism. Of course, we can be physically attracted to someone, but we are more often drawn to their confidence, passion and personality. Being attractive is about more than just appearance. In fact:

Let me explain. Not only is attraction the basis of finding a romantic partner, but we are also attracted to work with certain people. We are attracted to certain friendships. We are even attracted to certain coffee shops because we like their vibe, their menu or their location. Attractiveness is an essential part of understanding what motivates people.

If you want to make people want you, if you want to be attractive, if you want to understand people, you need to learn:

The Rules of Attraction

#1: Stop Being Boring

Our brains are like really hungry toddlers–they are easily bored and demand to be fed with entertaining nuggets. Being “noce” simply isn’t enough.

New York Times best-selling author and developmental molecular biologist, John Medina discovered that the brain has a very short attention span. Our brains are attracted to intriguing, interesting, engaging people and things. Luckily, you are an intriguing, interesting, engaging person!

Yes, I have met thousands of people at speaking events, conferences and networking parties and I have never met a boring person.

Sometimes we act boring because we are afraid of being seen as “weird” or “different”. So we have the same the mind-numbingly boring social script of “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?”. We don’t share how we really feel, we hide our quirks and try to fit in. But you know what? Fitting in sucks. It’s dull and unattractive.

#2: You Have 30 Seconds, Go

Don’t let anyone tell you different. People judge you the moment you walk in the room.

If we get rid of social niceties and get down to the science, attraction happens in the first 30 seconds. And, as much as we don’t like to admit it, our brain decides if we are attracted to someone else almost instantly.

Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher studied hundreds of couples in love and found that the human body knows within one second whether someone’s physically attractive or not. We might not realize it, but our brains make incredibly accurate and long-lasting snap judgements in the first few seconds of meeting a new person.

In the non-dating world of attraction science, research shows we get a little bit more time to make a first impression, but not by much. The scientific term for first impressions is thin-slicing, a coin termed by Nalini Ambady of Tufts University. Ambady wanted to test how accurate our first impressions are. She videotaped 13 teachers and showed 30 second clips to participants. She asked the participants to rate the teachers effectiveness. Ambady then compared these ratings to the teachers’ end-of-semester evaluations from actual students.

The participants accurately predicted which teachers would be the most successful–from just 30 seconds of video.

Ambady even shortened the clips to 15 seconds, and then to six. Again, the students could correctly predict the most successful teachers. So, you have six seconds, what will you do with them?

#3: The Single best Trait

What turns you on? Eyes? Humor? Legs? Research shows that a person’s most attractive trait is their availability. Yet, this is one of the most overlooked aspects of how people work. And this is important for every area of life.

In meeting it is about physical availability “Will this person mate with me?”

In friends and long-term romantic partners it is about emotional availability. “Will this person open up to me?”

In business it is about economic and intellectual availability. “Will this person work with me?”

The best way to show availability whether it is at a networking event, party, business meeting or date is by demonstrating availability. Show people you want to connect, talk and start a relationship. A woman at an event once asked me: “Isn’t it obvious that I’m available to connect? I’m here aren’t I?”

Try This: At your next social event make a point of telling people why you are there and what you are looking for. Something like, “I’m excited to meet you because I was hoping to make some really interesting connections at this event.” Or, “This event is going great, I came wanting to stir up some business and I have already passed out a few business cards. May I give you one?” We don’t realize that our availability isn’t as obvious as we think. Try showing it and you will be pleasantly surprised at how welcoming and curious people are in return.

The other way you can show availability is nonverbally. Read on:

#4:Body Language

Open body language is more attractive than any outfit, hairstyle or dance move.

Female and male body language also differ. Here is an overview of female body language to watch out for:

You can also use body language to show availability and increase your attractiveness in interactions.

• Open Torso:  Body language research has shown that keeping your torso, chest and abdomen open to the world is best way to show availability. Crossed arms, clutching a wine glass in front of your stomach, checking a phone in front of your chest or hugging a purse to your center are all ways we close our body language and seem unavailable. Studies have shown that we actually close our body language when we are feeling mentally closed off.

• Hands: We love to see people’s hands. Studies have found that when we can’t see people’s hands we have trouble trusting them. When you put your hands in your pockets, tuck them under the table or hide them behind a coat, you’re attractiveness decreases because people can’t open up to you. An interesting story about how open body language and open-mindedness go hand in hand: I was people watching at a networking event and watched a man and woman chatting. At the beginning of the conversation the woman was holding her purse in front of her chest and the man was holding his wine glass in front of him. At one point the man made a joke and both of them began to laugh. You could see them emotionally relax and open up. At that moment the woman swung her purse over her shoulder and opened up her body language. In the very next second the man placed his glass on the cocktail table next to them and pulled out a business card. They continued speaking the rest of the night.
  *If you want attractiveness you can also expose your neck (think Marilyn Monroe tilting her head back and laughing). From a body language perspective an open, exposed or stroked neck is not only more sensual but also releases tantalizing pheromones. See more about this in the video above.

Female Psychology Reveals What a Woman Really Wants

Female Psychology – Using A “Loophole” In The Female Mind to Seduce a Woman Quickly

Most men get scared of the thought of rejection whenever they see a woman that they like. Unfortunately, this is the main reason why so many men fail when they try to seduce a woman to begin with. However, if you can just overcome this fear with the proper knowledge and guaranteed methods that are sure to work, then you shouldn’t have any more trouble learning how to master the art of using female psychology to win a woman in the future.

Naturally, you will still need to remember the most important thing, though: that, although you might never get over this fear completely, you can still stop it from taking over your mentality too much. All you have to do is learn the following techniques that will help you seduce a woman and succeed at picking women up every single at time.

Female Psychology Hacks – What You Need To Know To Attract Women

Tactic Number One: Practice indifference

Even though this tactic might seem very obvious, the first thing you need to do to seduce a woman successfully is toavoid complimenting her all the time and showering her with too much attention.

If this is what you currently do, then you have to stop doing so in order to raise the anticipation and make her run after you instead. What you actually have to do to successfully seduce a woman is treat her just like you would anybody else and just touch with her very subtly. This way, you can make sure that she stays interested in you for a long time.

• Tactic Number Two: Flaunt what you’ve got.

Believe it or not, you can win a woman easily just by standing out in a crowd. Basically, if everybody else focuses their attention on you, they will know that you look good in other people’s eyes and, in turn, pay more attention to you. So, make sure you pay attention to what happens all around you. Be observant and smart and try to get a high-standing and popular aura about you as much as possible.

One of the easiest ways to turn on a woman this way would be by looking good. Naturally, if you still dress like a guy from the 70s, there is now way you will get a woman to like you without a complete makeover first. Once you transform your outer self, you can the present yourself to women better. Just remember: women love good fashion sense and cleanliness in a man more than anything else.

• Tactic Number Three: Be romantic and suave.

Aside from being more fashionable and looking good, you will also have to focus on becoming more romantic and more polished, if you want to win a woman and succeed in the end.

• Tactic Number Four: Make yourself look more valuable.

Women have this innate sense of picking out leaders form a group. So, men who seem naturally authoritative won’t actually have to work to much to seduce a woman in the long run. To become one of these men, all you really have to do is smile, sit, move and stand like they don’t care about what women think about them.

To pull this off, though, you will need to work on your alpha personality first. To begin, work no making yourself look, act and seem more valuable. This will make women crave your attention more. In fact, women tend to fall for men with high self-value pretty quickly and might even fight one another just to get your attention all to themselves – believe it.

• Tactic Number Five: Stop worshiping women.

If you keep putting women on a pedestal, then you can just say goodbye to all of your power in the game altogether. See, if you show women how much you like them, then you basically just give them the power to throw you away anytime that they want to.

Remember: power comes with respect and once you lose both of those things, you can lose women’s affections at the same time. Besides, men who worship women usually get rejected faster than other men do.

So, what you have to do is make women feel like you are too good for them. Show them that, no matter how much they preen or make themselves look good, you will never stoop so low as to run after them because you know that you have all the moves to get them to run after you instead.

• Tactic Number Six: Do not limit your options.On that note, you should never show women that you are interested in them. If you do this, then you will simply look desperate and they will know that they have the upper hand. So, instead, get the woman that you like more intrigued by talking to other women more than you talk to her. This will show her that you have a high status in society and will make her gravitate to you faster. Also, don’t place all of your hopes on a single woman. That would make you extra desperate, and this in turn WILL sabotage your game.
  • Tactic Number Seven: Work on your weaknesses.
  If you feel nervous or anxious while trying to win a woman over, work on that weakness and make it seem like you are excited instead. Accept that nerves and dating go hand-in-hand, but use that nervousness as fuel for your energy. Remember: being nervous is fine, as long as you know that you still have the power in the end. Being confident is still the number #1 most desirable trait in a man.
  • Tactic Number Eight: Toy with her emotions.
  If you really want to seduce a woman, then you have to remind yourself that they always long for an emotional connection. This means that you should toy with her emotions and send her on a roller coaster ride. Support her one minute, for example, just to detach yourself from her the next. Although this might confuse her in the beginning, she will find herself drawn to your caring and loving side more and more.
  By understanding female psychology you will gain an upper edge as a seducer. And in order to be good at this, you will need to know about the existence of a set of female psychology loopholes which have existed for many years (in the underground seduction community). With these techniques, you will be unstoppable as a seducer – in fact you’ll be spoiled for choice as far as getting dates is concerned.

  Fractionation – The Ultimate Female Psychology Secret

  Aparticular loophole technique known as Fractionation is known to be able to make women fall in love rather quickly. In the hands of an expert seducer, he may be able to use the technique to make a woman love him in as little as 15 minutes. It’s that powerful!
  Needless to say, these techniques could possibly mess with a woman’s mind if used wrongly. Therefore, if you decide to use this stuff, then you should abide by the cardinal rule of seduction:- always leave a woman better than when you have found her. If you agree to this condition, then go here -

Female Psychology

NOTE: What you’re about to read is how basic brain development and chemistry relates to core differences between masculine and feminine people. Not, Men and women, but Masculine and Feminine.

Men can masculine or feminine, Women can be masculine or feminine, and they can both be  both. I use the terms Men and Women only for convenience sake, but feel free to replace the word Man with Woman and visa versa. I’m also in no way claiming this is true because it’s something that lies beyond the scope of scientific ‘truth’. I’m just claiming that it’s my perception. If you agree with it, great. Find a way to use it. If you don’t, great. Find an explanation that works for you.

If you’re an average guy, trying his best to get ahead in life — with work, with friends, and with women — you might struggle with last category. For some guys, they struggle because they don’t have basic hygiene standards, for others, their sense of style just puts them too far behind the 8-ball, but for most guys, it’s simply because they don’t make sense.

The logic of completion and functionality that rules a guy’s life just doesn’t seem to apply to the way women think. Why would you go to the bathroom in pairs? Why would you prefer to be with a so-called ‘bad boy’ who cheats on you than a nice guy? How do you manage to spend 1 hour every night on the phone with someone you spent all day with and not get bored?

THEY JUST DON’T MAKE SENSE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

There’s nothing wrong with women. And there’s nothing confusing either. Understanding women is simple and straight forward. You just have to be able to see what’s going on behind the surface. And when you do, everything makes sense.

So, to give you that knowledge to make understanding women simple and straight forward, I’m going to break it all down for you today.

I’m going to go over the very basic fundamentals and then expand it all out so you can see exactly how this core element effects every area of women’s life and why they don’t make sense to you.

So lets start with the basics.

I was going to write it out for you, step by step, but seeing as it’s already covered in Endgame, I’ve just copied and pasted three relevant sections for you.

Obviously, all three of these quotes are taken out of context and are missing large sections of supporting information.

If you want to get a full understanding of these concepts, how they relate to meeting and attracting women, and how you can use them to become the Man of your dreams, check out Endgame here.

Male Sexual Dysfunction

What is sexual dysfunction?

Sexual dysfunction is any physical or psychological problem that prevents you or your partner from getting sexual satisfaction. Male sexual dysfunction is a common health problem affecting men of all ages, but is more common with increasing age. Treatment can often help men suffering from sexual dysfunction.

The main types of male sexual dysfunction are:

• Erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting/keeping an erection)
• Premature ejaculation (reaching climax too quickly)
• Delayed or inhibited ejaculation (reaching climax too slowly or not at all)
• Low libido (reduced interest )

What causes the dysfunction?

Physical causes of overall sexual dysfunction may be:

• Low testosterone levels
• Prescription drugs (antidepressants, high blood pressure medicine)
• Blood vessel disorders such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) and high blood pressure
• Stroke or nerve damage from diabetes or surgery
• Smoking
• Alcoholism and drug abuse

Psychological causes might include:

• Concern about sexual performance
• Marital or relationship problems
• Depression, feelings of guilt
• Effects of past sexual trauma
• Work-related stress and anxiety

How does this dysfunction affect men?

The most common problems men face with sexual dysfunction are troubles with ejaculation, getting and keeping an erection, and reduced mating desire.

Ejaculation disorders

Problems with ejaculation are:

• Premature ejaculation (PE) — ejaculation that occurs before or too soon after penetration
• Inhibited or delayed ejaculation — ejaculation does not happen or takes a very long time
• Retrograde ejaculation — at orgasm, the ejaculate is forced back into the bladder rather than through the end of the penis

The exact cause of premature ejaculation (PE) is not known. While in many cases PE is due to performance anxiety during sex, other factors may be:

• Stress
• Temporary depression
• History of sexual repression
• Low self-confidence
• Lack of communication or unresolved conflict with partner

Studies suggest that the breakdown of serotonin (a natural chemical that affects mood) may play a role in PE. Certain drugs, including some antidepressants, may affect ejaculation, as can nerve damage to the back or spinal cord.

Physical causes for inhibited or delayed ejaculation may include chronic (long-term) health problems, medication side effects, alcohol abuse, or surgeries. The problem can also be caused by psychological factors such as depression, anxiety, stress, or relationship problems.

Retrograde ejaculation is most common in males with diabetes who suffer from diabetic nerve damage. Problems with the nerves in the bladder and the bladder neck force the ejaculate to flow backward. In other men, retrograde ejaculation may be a side effect of some medications, or happen after an operation on the bladder neck or prostate.

Erectile dysfunction (ED)

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to get and keep an erection for intercourse. ED is quite common, with studies showing that about one half of American men over age 40 are affected. Causes of ED include:

• Diseases affecting blood flow such as hardening of the arteries
• Nerve disorders
• Stress, relationship conflicts, depression, and performance anxiety
• Injury to the penis
• Chronic illness such as diabetes and high blood pressure
• Unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking too much alcohol, overeating, and lack of exercise

Low libido (reduced sexual desire)

Low libido means your desire or interest has decreased. The condition is often linked with low levels of the male hormone testosterone. Testosterone maintains sex drive, sperm production, muscle, hair, and bone. Low testosterone can affect your body and mood.

Reduced sexual desire may also be caused by depression, anxiety, or relationship difficulties. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and certain medications like antidepressants may also contribute to a low libido.

How is male dysfunction diagnosed?

Your doctor may begin the diagnosis process with a physical exam. Physical tests may include:

• Blood tests to check your testosterone levels, blood sugar (for diabetes), and cholesterol
• Blood pressure check
• Rectal exam to check your prostate
• Examination of your penis and testicles

Other tests can show if you have problems with the nerve impulses or blood flow to the organ.

Your doctor may also ask questions about your symptoms and your medical and sexual history. Though these questions may seem very personal, do not be embarrassed. It is important to answer honestly so the best treatment can be recommended. You may be sent to a different type of doctor (urologist, endocrinologist or sex therapist, for example) who can help you.

How is male dysfunction treated?

Many cases of sexual dysfunction can be corrected by treating the mental or physical problems that cause it. Treatments include:

• Medications – drugs that help improve function by increasing blood flow to the organ. Sildenafil (Viagra®), vardenafil (Levitra®), and tadalafil (Cialis®) are safe and effective for most men.
• Hormone therapy – low levels of testosterone raised by hormone replacement therapies that include injections, patches, or gels.
• Psychological therapy – a psychological counselor to help you address feelings of anxiety, depression, fear, or guilt that may affect sexual function.
• Mechanical aids – vacuum devices and penile implants that can help some men with erectile dysfunction.

Can male sexual dysfunction be prevented?

While this dysfunction cannot be prevented, dealing with the causes of the dysfunction can help you better understand and cope with the problem when it happens. To help maintain good function:

• Follow your doctor’s treatment plan for any of your medical/health conditions.
• Limit your alcohol intake.
• Quit smoking.
• Get treatment if needed for any emotional or psychological problems such as stress, depression, and anxiety.
• Communicate better and more often with your partner.

Top 10: Things Women Want

Top 10: Things Women Want

Men are pretty simple creatures, really. If a woman is attractive, we want to meet her. If she turns out to be interesting, intelligent or funny, we want to get to know her better. Women, by contrast, are a little more complicated. The things women want are often like grocery lists of prioritized criteria that they use to determine whether or not a guy is datable. And female criteria are significantly more nuanced than the monosyllabic qualities men tend to look for: “nice,” and “smart.”

Recognizing that some guys could use some help understanding the female wish list, we’ve put together this list of the top 10 things women want.

1-Independence

Women want to know that a man can take care of himself. They want a guy who is capable and independent, able to make his own decisions, pay his rent, and cook dinner for himself. Despite what you might think, no woman wants to be your mother (besides, of course, your mother). One of the top 10 things women want is to know that you are capable of carrying your own weight in a relationship. A guy who is in constant need of reassurance, companionship, help, motivation, and advice is a turnoff.

2-Looks

Women are called the "soft" for a reason. They’re much, much better looking than we are, what with our sharp angles, our hairy backs and our doughy centers. It is truly one of their great virtues that women are willing to spend so much time in our company despite our undeniably simian appearance.

3-Positivism

Positivity is the next item on our list of the top 10 things women want. Cynicism and sarcasm have their place, but nobody wants to be with someone who is sarcastic and cynical all of the time. It’s exhausting. By contrast, being in the presence of someone with a positive outlook on life can actually be energizing. An optimistic person makes others feel good; his optimism can be contagious, even inspiring. That’s why it’s one of the top 10 things women want.

4-Communication skills

We often tease women about their capacity for conversation. However, men ignore the female inclination to talk at their peril. Women place a priority on guys they can talk to, who can express themselves and who are at least willing to listen to them when they talk about their concerns, hopes and desires.

You should also know that the communication skill that trumps all others is the ability to be attentive. Sometimes, all a woman needs you to do is listen. This is hard for us guys, because we’re very “action-oriented.” We think of every conversation as a prelude to some necessary action (otherwise, why talk?), but that’s not always the case. If you can show a woman you have the capacity to pay attention to her, it will radically improve your chances.

5-Sociability

A woman wants a guy who can carry on a conversation with her coworkers at a dinner party and also has the good sense not to swear in front of her mother.

Women want a guy with a high social IQ. They don’t want a wallflower or the strong silent type. Perhaps, most of all, they just want to know you won’t go catatonic when faced with a group of people you don’t know.

6-Intelligence

Many women find smarts as physical appearance. For some of us, this can be frustrating, because, let’s face it, we’d all like to be smarter, and at one time or another we’ve all felt like the dumbest guy in the room. Avoid running your mouth on subjects you know nothing about. Better to be suspected a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

7-Passion

Passion is another one of the top 10 things women want. The reasons should be pretty obvious. If a woman is thinking about spending any time with you, she’d like to know that she can look forward to adventure, excitement, commitment, devotion, and great love. Thus, if a guy wants to be wanted, he has to show a woman he’s passionate.

Enthusiastically extolling the virtues of your fantasy baseball team is OK, but it’s much better to be passionate about something a little more serious, like your job or a humanitarian cause. Women love to see that you’re passionate, because in their minds passion in one sphere of life that can be transferred into another sphere of life, namely the bedroom.

8-Sense of humor

A good sense of humor is one of the qualities women almost always mention when listing off the things they look for in a man. We all know how much more fun funny people are than dull, grumpy people. Now this does not mean you need to be “the life of the party.” Women typically don’t gravitate toward drunken buffoons. A good sense of humor just means you know how to tell and take a joke.

9-Ambition

Men too often think that all women care about is money, but that’s nonsense. Sure it may be true of some women, just as it’s true of some men, but women aren’t characteristically attracted to rich guys. The reason women gravitate toward men with successful careers isn’t because of the size of their paychecks, but rather because their success at work is indicative of certain attractive personality traits: commitment, discipline, strong work ethic -- all of which are things that will likely make a guy a good partner

10-Confidence

As you’ve read over this list of the top 10 things women want, you’ve probably noted some areas in which you excel and others you could work on. Maybe you’re a smart, sociable guy with a great sense of humor, but you could use some help in the ambition department. Maybe you’re a great-looking guy with expert communication skills, but you’ve yet to find the one thing you’re really passionate about. Here’s the good news:Confidence is the one thing women consistently say they want in a man.

Confidence is king. That means even if you can’t categorize yourself as “the total package,” as long as you feel good about what you have to offer, and as long as you’re comfortable with yourself, you have a shot.